Friday, August 12, 2016


In memory of my son, Dana, we will celebrate his life this year, on October 21st, at the 20th Anniversary D-LOW Memorial Show in Phoenix, Arizona. It has been 20 years since I saw my son. The pain never goes; it just numbs a bit. Thank you to all the family, friends, and Tribe who supported and helped us to live with grief. You have helped more than you will ever know!

We will never stop in our search for the truth and for justice! Many of you have attended each of the19 previous shows! You have helped us to bring attention to a death suffered by many others, all over the unjust and untimely death. We have one life to live and in the words of Dana, we must all LIVE LARGE!!!

After Dana's death, everyday human routines were a struggle for me. I could work because it took my mind off dark thoughts, but I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. How could I do these movements when my son couldn't? I felt guilty to sleep and relax or to feed my thin frame. It took me 3 years to begin to understand and come to grips with the tragedies of 1996.

The Deftones had a super tight relationship with Dana. They had a magical thread weaving them together for their love of music.

When they called and asked Max to come to Seattle and collaborate on a track in Dana's memory, it lifted Max and me out of the Valley of Despair. It gave us a spark of Life back.

We both flew to Seattle and hooked up with the guys and met Terry Date, who was producing Around The Fur. It was exciting to be with The Deftones. Everyone had so much positive energy. Being involved in a creation from the ground floor was like being an architect constructing his masterpiece. It wasn't long before they were all digging on some music Max had brought with him. I pulled a surprise out also. I grabbed some lyrics I had found at home that Dana had written. They were written across a flier and said "WALKING THROUGH THIS WORLD YOU HAVE TO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH".

Chino loved the lyrics and the 'Tones all loved the music Max brought to the studio.One thing lead to another and before I knew it, Chino and Max were throwing down the vocals. Chino even got a bloody nose from the mic hitting him. They were singing like it was a live show, not a studio recording! This moment was the twin birth of Headup and also the name of Max's new band. It was the recording of this song that inspired the name Soulfly.

Chino, Stef, Chi, Abe and Frank....Maximum Respect and love to you. You never knew, but you picked Max and me up and lifted us to the next stair, a stair that rose above our grief.

When you give birth to a child, you never ever dream of burying them. You only see the dreams you have for them. You see that little innocent face and only see hope and the future. When the Grim Reaper takes them from you without warning, the empty void is never filled in again. Years pass and life becomes livable but that shock never truly leaves.

Dana's death was compounded by the fact that a code of silence wrapped it like a blanket. This silenced many....but not everyone. In the dark of night, I received visitors that told me the truth, the betrayal of 'friends' and the lies that were spun. It took 4 years to learn the whole truth. It even took a visit to a gang members home....yes, I did it all. When the truth was laid bare, the authorities started their own cover up, protecting their own and letting murderers walk fee.

Dana predicted his own death caused by an 'accident.' He wrote of it in his journal, his view of his future was grim, at the least! He made a will in case of an early death and included it in his writings. Such thoughts swirling in the head of a 20 year old, should not exist!

Yes there are many mysteries but today, all the puzzle pieces fit now. The truth will be told and the responsible will be held accountable on Earth and beyond!

And in the meantime, join us to celebrate Dana's life! He is another Metalhead branded at the time of death by the detective on duty that fateful night. The DAs office can hide what they will but the truth will one day be laid bare and all will see clearly.

Class dismissed.......