Friday, August 19, 2016


Once the dust of 1996 began to settle, we had to find ways to carry on. Just getting up each day had its challenges. I was out roaming with my friend, Kristen, until all hours of the day. I wore a black haired, Cleopatra Halloween wig to cover my green hair and a wifebeater tee, to show my tatts. Where we were going, we had to be accepted. We had to blend in.

Max was determined. When I said I was leaving music, he pushed me back on the trail. At first, when he would tell me he was leaving Sepultura, I urged him to stay. You all know Max's ethics by now and all know what he chose, but it wasn't something I agreed with, whole heartedly. Managers can make a zillion bands, but most artists can create bands only once or twice in their lifetime. Max never flip-flopped or questioned his decision, so after a time, I accepted it as a final choice.

1997 was spent trying to learn who we were. We knew life was short and could be taken at a moment's notice. Max threw himself into deep thought. I was looking for answers, trying to concentrate on keeping our family strong, and thoughts of rebuilding our careers, were thrown daily on my Libra scales. When the stress overwhelmed and whittled at me, I began to research my family history. It gave me the cure to my thinking, as thoughts and facts were striking my lobes like lightening. The facts of the split, the facts of Dana's death and the facts of Life in general, all were a fountain of hyperventilation, for me.

When Max was ready, he bought his recording set up, for in home writing. He had a small 4 track he started bringing on the road during the Chaos tour. It was on that tour that he wrote Soulfly 1, completely unaware of the future. He had written Chaos AD and Roots at our kitchen table. With Soulfly, he was setting up the gear on our bed and transforming the bedroom into a jam pad! I let him run with it.

During this time, he wrote many classics...Eye For An Eye was first, Primitive, No, Tribe and many others followed like an architect creates a skyscraper. He would come out of the room and play a track he had completed. He was so full of positive vibes and I could clearly hear the songs were great. There was never a worry about his songwriting in my mind again.

Zyon and Igor were growing fast. Zyon was beginning to practice drumming each day. Igor, at 2 years of age, was developing a personality also. He was sturdy and forged his way. We called him The Little General because he marched instead of walking. We attributed his skills to my Russian General Great Grandfather. Igor was strong minded. Zyon had a good humor and went with the flow. He was even tempered. The other children were coming out of their shock and trying to make sense of all the craziness in our lives that stung up on that fateful August 16. The burden on my mind was that, in time, these brothers and sisters were not going to remember their older brother. It is a horrible reality.

Now, it is 20 years later. Little did I know, the Max bands of the future... Soulfly, Killer Be Killed, Cavalera Conspiracy... The mark Max would make on the Metal world would be phenomenal. The bands he would influence would be many. The hits would keep coming and his career would steadily grow. Tribe after tribe, from every country on the Earth, would step in his line.

The kids all grew up. Our daughters have their own children, and the children of band members are now band members themselves. Time only travels in one direction..forward. The same way your feet should step forward. Through joy and through depression, through force fields of impossible penetration, through throngs of fans, it was all there to reach out and touch. And it's still growing...

Class dismissed.....