Friday, December 20, 2013


December is not meant to be filled with shock and sorrow.  In December,  2004, our home was going through a variety of emotions.  We had happiness spewing out with our little Moses in our lives.  My daughter and tour manager at the time, Christina, had just come off the road with Moses in tow, on our tour.  We lost our first grandchild in childbirth 10 years before and to have Moses was a real blessing.  Before his birth, when Christina was pregnant, Max and Coyote from Eyesburn recorded the song Moses, in Belgrade.  We were awaiting the baby's arrival and hence the lyrics..Moses,, Moses, where are you….


Max was bringing down the house with some trouble in his life…it was getting to weigh heavily on us.  Personal demons  which are revealed in his autobiography.  It was casting a weight on us that we were forced to reason with.  There was no reason however and the stress affected our family daily.  It was getting difficult for me to harness it and hide from outsiders.


We went in the studio in Mesa, Arizona, called the Salt Mine and brought the other Soulfly-ers in to begin to lay down the tracks.  Music wraps up quite fast..if you are a REAL artist…and in no time it was lyric-laying time, the final coat of frosting on the music.


It was morning, December 8 and I was getting ready to head to the studio for the day's session.  The ring of the phone grabbed my attention and was near me so I answered on my way out the door.  My good friend from Ohio, Brandon Combs cheered me up.  He asked if I could get him into Damageplan that night; they were played Al Rosa's, in Ohio.  "Of course,"  I replied.  "Just look for Cat and tell him you are our friend."  Smooth, no bumps in the road.  I hung up and left.

Night time…I was watching a movie and fell asleep on the couch when the phone rang.  It was around 10:30pm, local time.  Screaming, sirens, mayhem woke me, and then Brandon's voice.  "They're all dead!  They're all dead!!!"  Horrified, I couldn't grasp wtf was happening.  A policeman grabbed Brandon's phone and recounted the night.  He told me Brandon was in the front when the gunman jumped on the stages and Brandon had jumped on the stage to divert him and the off duty officer was able to make the shot.  I couldn't imagine anything like they were shouting. It left us in a daze, astounded, shock.

Grief set in and there were no words in the studio the next day.  Nothing like this had happened before.  Too many questions with no answers, coupled with anxiety, left everyone spinning in silence.


Home at night, I crashed watching a movie again.  10:30pm, I woke up.  I was startled to see Danny Marianino and our old friend, Fattytizer walk in the door.  What was happening?


Max came to me and said, "Moses has died."  "No, impossible!  They just flew home a couple days ago!"  Barely awake, this news was not registering with me.


The phone rang and the second I heard Christina's voice, I knew the unbelievable was true. My mind screamed inside!!  Little Moses had gone to see Machinehead earlier that day.  They even made a video of him there!  After the show,a very happy group of Headbangers went to Christina's apartment and cranked some Manu Chow and ate some traditional Serbian munchies.  Moses woke up and was dancing in his swing.  The world was just fine.

Moses partying at 2:00am, Dec. 10, 2004
3:00am, all to bed; party over.  5:00am, Christina gets up and Moses is sleeping nestled next to her.  6:00am, she wakes up, and he was gone.  Just like that….the darkness swept in our lives like a black fog, plugging our pores, our senses.

The studio became a dot on my horizon.  NO importance now; I left with Richie and flew to Serbia.  Max stayed and the lyrics changed their hue.  This was real life; not just words.  The Dark Ages bubbled and churned until it could no more.  The strength to get out of bed in the morning sucked most of our energy from the day and left us hollow.  Cement boots on our feet every morning…it was an unbearable time.

Returning to America was never so hard.  Taking misery in my purse and in my soul; it seemed to be in every crack surrounding me like a fog.  This would leave a mark…it was the birth of Dark Ages.

RIP Moses

Class dismissed…..